Joseph Takagi only wears the nice, expensive shit. Know how I know? Because Hans Gruber, Mr. German Fashion 1986 says so - twice. Once in the elevator, when Hans remarks that he has two of the same suit from John Philips, London (notice how he didn't say Men's Wearhouse, downtown mall - you know you buy your suits there, cheap ass). Then, before he shoots Takagi in the head, Hans flippantly mentions how it would be a shame to ruin that nice suit. Well, mission accomplished. The last time I brought in blood-stained clothes to my dry cleaner with brain residue on the collar, she wasn't too pleased with me. Neither were the police, but there is no point in rehashing the past.
Where was I? Oh yeah, Takagi knows that if you want to be successful at anything you gotta give 100%. Which is why if he were a sports fan, he would NEVER buy those cheap as shit NFL replica jerseys from Walmart. You know the jersey I am talking about - it looks nothing like the real jersey. The colors are slightly off, there are probably a few stripes missing, and the thing gleams like a piece of effing Kryptonite. What, you say? It is only 30 bucks? Woohoo - I'll take it! Nevermind if I go the game or parade around town I am basically broadcasting the fact that I am a hobo.
Seriously, you'd be better off stealing a real jersey from Foot Locker than buying the imitation Tony Romo jersey seen below. Actually, do neither, because Tony Romo sucks, loser.
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