Revenge is a Dish Best Served Slowly

Karl wants blood. He wants it so badly, in fact, that he's willing to flip over a desk and be slammed up against the wall by his employer and not retaliate against him with a hail of gunfire. But honestly, who can blame him? If I had to read a hilarious christmas card off my dead brother's sweatshirt, I wouldn't be very happy about it, either. We don't know exactly how close Karl and Tony were at the start of the movie, and I'm not entirely sure that the little gag with the chainsaw and the phone lines was all just fun and games. But still, brothers are brothers. Ever since Tony became the first casualty of Hans' crew, Karl's professionalism took a back seat to his lust for personal revenge and the hunt for McClane became priority number one.

Or perhaps priority two. I think the FIRST thing on Karl's mind throughout the Nakatomi siege was looking like a badass. After McClane's position on the roof is revealed, Karl has a chance to redeem his brother's death, and makes it pretty clear to Fritz and Marco; must have made for a fun elevator ride, huh? But once they're ON the roof and McClane is cornered like a rat in a trap, Karl suddenly slows his role - literally. He's got the perfect opportunity to cut off McClane at the pass, not to mention the higher ground (thanks, Obi Wan). But what does he do? He strikes a pose and walks IN SLOW MOTION to the edge of the platform. Gun poised, hair blowing in the wind, it really is quite the sight. And here's the worst part - McClane didn't even get to see it. If he had, maybe he'd have just surrendered at such an awe inspiring sight.


I've already questioned Karl's wardrobe choice on this blog, but let me see if I can sucker punch that dead horse one more time. A sweatsuit should allow for maximum agility, right? I mean he should have been running labs around McClane. But, as I learned from Mr. Karl, what's the point of doing ANYTHING if you can't look cool while doing it?