For Emergency Use Only

It's hard to imagine, some two decades removed, that Die Hard is an 80's film. Director-extraordinaire John McTiernan has a way of making his films immune to aging with a minimal amount of bad music, outrageous costumes, and crazy hair. Sure, there's some Run-DMC and a pair of leather pants, but it doesn't have the same "HEY, DON'T FORGET THIS IS AN EIGHTIES FILM" theme music as, say, Beverly Hills Cop.

With this in mind, think how bored McClane must have been while NOT gunning down Terrorists. Granted, the whole thing takes place in the course of a single evening, but nobody of today's generation has the patience to sit still for longer than a couple of minutes. And again, this is in an era before cell phones, Facebook, Twitter, and internet porn. THIS is why McClane smokes. I mean what the hell ELSE is he going to do? When *I* have some down time between death-defying shootouts and fist fights, I like to keep in touch with the outside world. A text here, an online quiz there, whatever makes the time go faster.

In 1988, McClane's walkie-talkie was as close as the world had come to a Blackberry or iPhone. So what does he do? He uses it to keep himself occupied. Nevermind clearing the airwaves for official police business; when Johnny Mac has something on his mind, the boys downstairs are going to hear about it. Between passing on love letters to his wife and making play dates for his children, there's plenty to keep him entertained. Want to talk about Twinkies with the big black man outside? Yep, there's an app for that.