German guys don’t bluff. Ever.

Say what you will about Hans Gruber - at least he is a man of his word. He will tell you when he is going to kill you, which makes him both cold-blooded and a helluva honest guy. He shot both Takagi and Ellis in the head, and would have done the same to McClane had the gun actually had bullets (nice going, McClane - that Bill Clay bullshit didn't fool me, either). He even pointed the gun at Takagi's face and counted to three, and the dumbass STILL didn't unlock the safe for him. I'm sure insurance probably would have covered every loss he incurred. Dolt.

Anyway, the lesson I took from this was that German guys don't bluff. One night I was playing cards with this German guy, and the asshole kept winning every hand. Know why? Because EVERYONE was scared to death. If he bet big, we figured that he had the cards to back up his outrageous bets - German guys don't bluff. Well, I decided to nut up and actually call him on a hand, and the freaking guy had a full house, aces over kings. I lost the deed to my house Chevy Astro.

No real point to that story, except that Die Hard was right, yet again. I did have my revenge, though, when I defriended that German guy on Facebook and then told him this buddy of mine slept with his sister. He was real pissed and said he was going to kill the bastard. I laughed and thought he was bluffing. It turns out he wasn't bluffing, and now my friend is dead. Whoops.